On the 13th of April of this year, I uploaded my first article and made Mind Games available to the public. Since then, we’ve posted a total of 34 articles (including this one), achieved over 1,200 views, 530 unique visitors, 20 likes and 40 comments. Thanks to the outstanding support from you all; I’ve gotten to interview games developers at EGX, write an article for the fantastic charity group CheckPoint and tackle topics that we face every single day. So, there are several questions that arise from this that need to be answered. Where will we go next? How can we make things bigger and better? Why did I make Mind Games in the first place?
It is this final question that I want to talk about today. It’s something that I’ve been asked a lot since I clicked publish all those months ago. If I’m honest, it’s taken me a long time to truly understand why I did this. Normally, I am a very private person. Although I am not ashamed to talk about my mental health when asked, I don’t tend to initiate the conversation. So, creating a site where I regularly talk about difficult topics such as grief, anxiety, and depression, seems at odds with my normal self. Yet, thinking back on that decision, I can’t see any other choice I could have made.
Growing up, mental health has always been a touchy topic. Some people see it as a sign of weakness, something to be ashamed of. I’ve been accused of seeking attention, for making mountains out of molehills, of being pathetic. Thankfully, my family and close friends are brilliant. They accept me for who I am, baggage and all. I don’t feel guilty about having to step away from a situation when I start to get anxious or taking a day to myself when the darkness gets too much to deal with. However, I know that in other aspects of life, I will have to deny and supress the conditions that form such an integral part of my identity.
As a society, we are making progress towards taking mental health more seriously and providing support to those who need it. However, it is nowhere near enough. There are still people out there who believe mental health is merely a state of mind and that they just need to “get over it”. They believe that it is a choice. It isn’t. Nobody on the planet would willingly choose to suffer from a mental health condition. Sure, sometimes we can find that shred of good in amongst all the bad. We can make positive memories out of a bad situation. However, it’s a bittersweet thing.
For me, gaming has been a massive coping mechanism. I don’t deny that they formed a large part of my childhood years and continue to shape me as I take my first few steps into the “adult” world. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from or how old you are, there is a game for you out there. From games focusing on gritty realism and intense action, to the more symbolic experiences that leave you with a burning curiosity to uncover all it’s secrets, the possibilities are literally endless. Gaming is for everyone. Mental health affects us all. It seemed only right that these two areas should cross over.
When I was planning on starting Mind Games, I did some research into the field, to see what range of resources and existing publications are out there. To my surprise, I came across very few resources. Sure, there are a few amazing sites and charities that are dedicated to these important issues, but I found nothing like what I had imagined for Mind Games. Here’s the weird thing though. I didn’t feel proud or happy that I had thought of this “new idea”. The exact thought in my head when I realised this was simply – Why doesn’t it already exist? Why am I the one to take that step and encourage the conversation? We should already be talking about this, we should be building one another up, providing resources and support to those who need it.
I think the main reason I started Mind Games is because I wanted a place where people could feel like they didn’t have to be ashamed or scared or anxious to admit that they are struggling. People should be able to go – I’m not ok. We should be able to play games, no matter how goofy or ridiculous they seem and enjoy ourselves without fear of repercussions. My mental health over the last few years has gone through a lot, but one of the true peaks has been this site and the community it has created. Hearing from you all has been brilliant. From your own experiences, to your suggestions, hopes and wisdom – Mind Games would not be what it is without you.
People always say – be the change that you want to see in the world. It’s an odd phrase but I think after creating Mind Games, I finally know what it means. Even if I only help a handful of people, I will have still impacted lives that may have remained untouched otherwise. So thank you all, more than anything. I hope I will always be worthy of your kind words and endless support.
Never be ashamed of who you are, be honest and be kind.
See you next week,
CaitlinRC
I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for many years but the last few years it’s spiralled completely out of control, the little family I have have never been supportive or understanding, your phrases regarding “attention seeking” and “making mountains out of mole hills” strike a particular resonance, I was mocked for being “gullible” enough to fall for the “con” of anti-depressants and belittled for attempting therapy, apparently I was supposed to open up to a family refused to listen and could only offer typical “everyone’s got problems” and “you just have to get on with it” advice. It was through certain online communities that I started hearing people talk of their own experiences and (I think it was after Rezzed) became aware of Mind Games, you say you want to help people, that you hope to have a positive impact on their lives? Well I’ve been back on anti-depressants for over 2 months and yesterday went to my 3rd therapy session, after so many failed attempts I’m finally comfortable with sticking to a treatment plan, Mind Games is one of the 3 main things that gave me the courage to do that, so yes, for what it’s worth, you have had a very positive impact on at least my life and I suspect quite a few more! I’ve rambled on enough now, but I just wanted to thank you and say that while Mind Games may still be young I truly believe it and you have the capacity to help so many people the way it has me.
I’m stunned into silence by how powerful an impact I’ve managed to have through these goofy articles. I’m so proud of you for taking those steps and facing your mental health problems head on, that requires a massive amount of bravery and strength that I can barely fathom. Your constant support and insight with each piece is always amazing to see and I hope you’ll stick with Mind Games and your treatment plan, know im always here if you need to talk <3
You shouldn’t be stunned, it’s what you set out to do and you’re succeeding, you say that you can’t “fathom the strength” yet you have the strength to not only face up to and learn to live with your own mental health struggles but to also create something that helps other people do the same, tbf you’re not the only one, I’ve come into contact with a few people recently that have that same strength and willingness to reach out and that is genuinely inspiring.
Good luck in the future and I look forward to seeing where Mind Games goes next!