This time on Dice and Mutterings, we’re talking about anything and everything involved in making characters, worlds and stories – from backstories to traumatic events to what we personally as creators put into it.
Welcome to Dice and Mutterings – where Caitlin rambles to themselves for about an hour, ft cat interruptions, random tangents and general confusion.
The world often states that there are only two constants in life – death and taxes. Considering that I’m still alive, much to the disappointment of whoever is pulling the strings of fate, the only constant that I get to enjoy as a fully fledged adult, is taxes. There are more varieties of taxes than types of tea, which to be honest is kind of befuddling to think about.
It’s something I didn’t fully understand until I started my current position, a fresh graduate of university with several part time roles under their belt. Taxes make the world go round after all. They pay for roads, healthcare, lampposts, schools and tonnes more.
Every month, when I receive my paycheck from work, my initial monthly salary is reduced by things like National Insurance, pension funds and student loan repayments. Then once I’ve taken the remaining amount and used it to pay off my essentials like my mortgage, utility bills and things like pet insurance, there’s not a whole lot left.
I’m lucky enough to be earning enough to live my life fairly comfortably, but I am still ever cautious of things like rises in tax rates when the government changes leadership, energy bills ramping up in the colder months and unforseen emergencies cutting into my budget.
So, given the stress that the topic of taxes causes a large majority of the population, you’re probably as surprised as I am to here that there is a game about tax evasion. More specifically, a game about a sentient turnip that hasn’t paid his taxes and now has to run errands for the mayor (who is an onion) in order to get his home back. Yep. I’m serious.
Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. All hail capitalism.
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion is a gem of a game, that can be beaten in only a few hours but god are those hours memorable. You, play as Turnip Boy, a sentient turnip in a land of sentient animals, flora and fauna, who for whatever reason decided to keep the taxation system that the long dead humans used. Armed with a watering can and a sword made of soil, you have to complete a series of errands for Mayor Onion, in order to get your greenhouse back because you owe a ridiculously high amount of property tax on it. Mayor Onion’s list of demands is odd, requesting things like a fork, a laser pointer and glowing goo that is most definitely radioactive.
It’s a quest driven game – go from point A to point B, solve a problem to gain an item, use that item to enter a previously restricted area, fight a boss and learn where to go next. There’s the usual sidequests – standard stuff like; giving an acorn a deed to own property, fishing a baby carrot out a trash can, murdering a snail that’s late on his rent, you know, just normal video game things.
Why does that pickle have a knife?
If you ignore the presence of underground bunkers, mutated humans, mushroom cloud drawings and the literal nuclear device that’s underneath your greenhouse, you wouldn’t think there was anything deeper to this experience. But oh boy is there a lot to notice on a second playthrough.
From the mentions of New York on all the documentation, to the literal air raid sirens hidden in the background music, Turnip Boy has a much darker tale to tell if you are willing to listen. It’s not all goofy meme references and silly gags, there’s an honest to god tale here that weaves in the nuclear destruction of the human race, a mafia formed of these sentient salad ingredients and even a secret ending that requires you to destroy all the official documentation in the game. Who needs accurate records for future reference, when you can tear them up and set things on fire?
This is fine.
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion is a cutesy, hilarious, tongue in cheek and surprisingly layered experience (much like Mayor Onion), with a gorgeous song that plays over the credit sequence. It’s well worth the investment of an evening and a bit of cash from your pocket. I played it on Switch but it’s available on PC and Xbox, with a potential sequel about robbing a bank in the works as I type this.
Go play it.
Anyways, this was a shorter piece than usual but I’d rather publish short pieces I’m happy with rather than fall into another writer’s block spell by forcing my work to adhere to unreasonable standards of perfection. Self care, who knew it could work such wonders.
For anyone curious, I’m currently editing the opening episode for S2 of my Blades In The Dark campaign with the Dungeons and Junkiez gang, with 6 episodes already banked and ready to be edited. My new Dungeons and Dragons campaign looks to start in the new year, a good way to celebrate the one year anniversary of Dice and Suffering if I do say so myself.
As always, take care of yourselves and those you love.
Once in a blue moon, Iāll find a game that grabs ahold of me and doesnāt let go, regardless of how many hours Iāve poured into it. No game that falls under this special category is ever the same. Which makes sense, after all, weāve talked about how our experiences are unique on this site before. How I view one game will be completely different to how you, dear reader, will see it. Different characters and their experiences will resonate with me than with you, as our personal history latches onto these plot threads and forms connections. One such game that has captured my attention over the last six months, is Hollow Knight.
Released back in early 2017 by Team Cherry, Hollow Knight took the indie world by storm, with its charming 2D graphics, enchanting worldbuilding, creative mechanics and challenging combat. Falling under the category of āmetroidvaniaā, I was hesitant going into it as Iāve always been a bit crap at those types of games which affects my enjoyment of the game as a whole. However, Hollow Knight surprised me and kept me intrigued from the opening sequence, forcing me to āget goodā and push through challenging fights, knowing what was on the other side would be worth the struggle it took to get there.
I see you over there Zote. You stay in the dark where you belong trash man.
You play as the Knight, a feisty little being armed with a nail and a can-do attitude. For reasons unknown to the player at the start, the Knight has found their way to the kingdom of Hallownest, a once vibrant kingdom that has fallen into ruin due to an infection that consumes the minds of those afflicted. The Knight journeys through Hallownest, exploring and combating the dangers of the underground ruins, searching for the truth of what happened and gaining new abilities along the way. Shortly after meeting Hornet, another individual (and the player character of the upcoming sequel Silksong!) who warns the Knight away from their chosen path, the Knight is faced with three spectral creatures ā known as the Dreamers.
These three, known as Monomon the Teacher, Lurien the Watcher and Herrah the Beast have been put in a permanent dream state to act as seals on the titular Hollow Knightās cage ā within whom the source of the infection was supposedly sealed all that time ago. Needless to say, it wasnāt a permanent solution since the majority of the world tries to kill you and the evil orange juice that seeps from the forms it inhabits is literally everywhere. So, itās up to the Knight to venture across the kingdom, wake the dreamers, fight the monsters, and cleanse the infection from the original Hollow Knight in order to save the world. Simple, right? Wellā¦ about that.
Tad fourth wall breaking there buddy but true. Now, give me money.
The lore of Hollow Knight is a classic example of the iceberg theory used by storytellers, where only a small percentage of the plot is stated outright and visible for the player to discover on a casual playthrough. Piecing together referenced events from character lines, journal entries and world design leads to yet more questions ā something that I, as an endlessly curious individual, absolutely loved. To beat the game normally and never touch the game again would be a massive disservice to the tale that the developers at Team Cherry have woven. There are loads of bosses, collectables, lore tidbits, endings, and paths to follow that you simply cannot cover in a single playthrough. Heck, Iām on my fourth playthrough and still havenāt found everything that Iāve seen others come across in their playthroughs.
The combat is not inherently complicated, it very much follows the tried and tested method of hit the thing till it dies, though some of the bosses could just sit on you and itād be over faster than you could say āYikesā. You have a nail (for stabbing), three magic spells (for blasting) and charms that can buff these to a ridiculous level. Like seriously, long nail and mark of pride means I can have a weapon thatās bigger than like two of my character. Overcompensating a bit there, little Knight? Combining charms are the way to victory in Hollow Knight, with some boss fights tailoring themselves towards Area of Effect spells and others just needing a good stabbing to cut them down to size. Or, if youāre really fed up with the fight, just cling to the top corner of the arena and let your minions whittle away at the enemies health. Not that Iāve done that. No siree.
….This is fine.
Plus, thereās always something satisfying about toppling bosses and conquering difficult fights. Itās why games similar to Bloodborne and Dark Souls remain so dominant in the gaming industry ā people enjoy a challenge. What I personally think Hollow Knight does better than those games, is it allows you to adjust your fighting style on the fly. Thereās no committing to a fighting type at the character creation screen or balancing stats during levelling or having to restart from zero if you decide a style isnāt for you. Instead, you just take off a charm and add another. We all have our preferred play styles of course but Hollow Knight rewards you for being creative, after all, whether you kill the boss with the sheer power of spite or give the boss scurvy and wait for it to die of malnutrition, you win either way.
I want you all to play this game, to get the true ending, to get all 112% of progression ticked off a list and to be jointly outraged and amused by the chaotic memes that the community has come out with (looking at you Pale King memes). Plus, all the expansions with additional bosses are all free soā¦ go punch Grimm in his stupid face and then immediately regret your choices. Go fight the gods of Hallownest and get absolutely stomped by the Pure Vessel. Try the Path of Pain and break your controller in blinding rage. Play ping pong with Zoteās stupid face and read all his precepts for success (seriously Zote has the most written dialogue in the game, and I hate him).
Grimm over here being Edgy TM
Anyways, thatās Hollow Knight, joining Spiderman, Octopath Traveller and the original Spyro trilogy as one of my favorite games.
Till next time,
CaitlinRC
*-*-*-* Personal Update Ahead *-*-*-*
I do apologise for the heavier lean towards podcast episodes and tabletop RPGās that this year has taken. Between the launch of Dice and Suffering, my frankly bonkers work schedule and trying to find a good balance between my endless personal projects, I havenāt had much time for much else. I love all my projects, so Iām not quite willing to let any of them go just yet, meaning I collectively spend less time on each in an attempt to ensure that I actually sleep at some point (madness, I know).
The support the podcast has been getting is phenomenal, the continual support of MindGames as an entity has been heartwarming and the enthusiasm for my YouTube compilations makes me smile ā especially all of your snarky comments.
Regardless! Next week will be the final episode of Into The Waste that we recorded before I decided to put that D&D campaign on indefinite hiatus. I am starting a new world and youāll get to see that in all itās chaotic glory in a few months but I thought Iād wrap up the episode I have left in my files and clear the way for a whole new world (cue Aladdin music). Then weāve got season 2 of Blades In The Dark / The Black Lotus Gambit which is four episodes in as Iām writing this and is shaping up to be a doozy.
If youāre interested in hearing me run my chaotic worlds of TTRPG madness, go look at Dice and suffering on any podcasting platform š
If you want to hear what kind of characters I play when someone else is the puppetmaster, Iām a permanent fixture in the Dungeons and Junkiez team over on Visionaries Global Media, where I play anything and everything ā from wholesome to psychotic.
For those of you who have been with MindGames since the beginning, you might remember that shortly after starting the site, I wrote an article for CheckPoint about one of my favorite games of all time – What Remains Of Edith Finch. Whilst clearing out some space on my hard drive, I came across the draft copy of that article and decided, you know what, I’m going to put it up here (with some additions) for you all to enjoy. It’s a game that’s worth revisiting with masterful storytelling and the strongest depiction of the consuming nature of some mental health conditions that I’ve seen in the gaming scene. Plus, it’s on GamePass so… free emotional experiences for you to try?
-.-.-.-
Throughout the history of humans, the concept of family has always been the central part of our lives. From autobiographies to twitter threads, we like to share tales from our lives with those we care about, be it close friends and family or just the internet in general. Video games take this concept and run with it, building extravagant worlds and telling fantastical stories that boggle the mind. A lot of these stories have deeper meanings beneath the surface that you don’t always see, but there is almost always a sense of family in them, be it your blood relations or your crew members. It is my belief, that games that take a step back and think about the nature of human relationships are ones that will leave their mark on our hearts.
One such game is What Remains of Edith Finch. Released to the major systems in 2017, this adventure game received high praise from critics, players and reviewers alike who all praised its storytelling, presentation and commonly use it as an example to prove that video games are an art form. As a gamer who has a fondness for story-driven games, I was immediately intrigued and decided to take a weekend to just sit and immerse myself in the game. By the end of the game, I was sobbing at this masterpiece of an experience.
To give you some context, the game follows the character Edith Finch who has returned to her old family home after the death of her mother. Right away, many players can relate to how Edith feels ā how it feels wrong to be there without her mother, how everything is familiar yet strange. When I lost my grandfather, we went to his flat to collect some mementoes to remember him by. If you read my Unpacking article, you’d know a bit more about what I took from that place and the memories that I associate with them. Yet, when walked through those doors and it was justā¦ off. Everything seemed too quiet without him. I noticed tiny details that were wrong in my memories of him such as the plants not being watered and the tea bags being left in the cup for too long. It was his place, yet not. Much like Edithās family home.
As you explore the uniquely constructed Finch home, you go from room to room piecing together Edithās family tree. Various flashbacks and playable sequences have you experiencing the passing of each of her family members, from flying off the edge of a cliff to being poisoned by holly berries. Each tale gives you an insight into what person was like, from their stubbornness to their struggle with mental health. Although this is a game about loss, how Edith speaks of her family is truly uplifting. Each one of them is so unique and had such a profound impact on her upbringing, you can feel the pure love in her voice as she talks about them.
Now, I could dedicate an article to each and every one of Edith’s family members and their stories. From the crushing impact of losing little Gregory on his parent’s marriage, to the survivor’s guilt and traumatic memories of his sister Barbara’s murder that drove Walter to live underground for decades; there is so much to unpack here. All these deaths lead people, including some of the family members, to believe that the Finch family is cursed to perish in unfortunate circumstances. To grow up, surrounded by death and the specters of those you love, has ripple effects on the environment around the young ones, like Edith and especially, Edith’s mother Dawn.
Who I want to talk about, however, is Lewis, one of Edith’s brothers. The game hints at the two being close, with him playing video games with his little sister, showing her secret passages in the house and being everything, you’d want in a big brother. However, after a battle with substance abuse and having to go through rehab, he began to struggle with his mental health. His boring daytime job at a cannery was slowly wearing him down and so, he imagined a fantasy world ā where he achieved great things. It began to consume him, to the point where he’d not speak to anyone for weeks, causing his family and therapist to worry. Eventually, the real Lewis became a hated figure in his mind, and he longed for the fantasy to come true. This culminated in him committing suicide and in Dawn and Edith leaving the family home for good, in an attempt for Dawn to protect herself and her last remaining child from meeting a terrible fate.
Out of the entire game, this story was the one that hit me the closest to home. Many people struggling with mental health conditions often feel like Lewis. The depression, the apathy, the feeling that the life you live has no point to it. We lose so many amazing people who become stuck in ruts as Lewis did, who suffer in silence and retreat into their minds to escape from its monotony. However, our minds can often be our worse enemies and in Lewis’s case, it provided him with an escape that eventually killed him. Lewis lost his sense of self, falling into a spiral of self-loathing and hatred that he sadly, couldn’t escape from.
The pain in Edith’s voice as she talks about her brother is clear. She feels powerless, guilty and the grief is still as fresh as it was when she first heard the news. The loss of a loved one will always hurt, as the hole they leave behind in the world will constantly remind you. However, the idea of someone you love, suffering in silence and deciding that death is the only option left to them, is a heart-wrenching thought. You rethink every interaction with them, overthink every word you’ve ever spoken to them and wonder what you could’ve done better.
The game is told from Edith’s perspective but when you think about how those emotions must be amplified tenfold for Dawn. Once I’d heard all of the Finch family’s stories and looked at the finished family tree, I realised just how much Dawn has lost. The loss of her baby brother, the divorce of her parents, the lingering guilt and grief after finding her other brother dead, witnessing her father die, then losing two children – one to mental health struggles that she felt powerless against and the other whose fate she never had confirmed, it’s no wonder she’s desperate to protect Edith. It makes the line you hear her shout as she argues with great grandma Edie, so much more powerful:
“My children are dead because of your stories!”
Our family can be our greatest support in times of need. They can save us from the darkness, pull us up and remind us that we are loved, we are worthy, and we are capable of so much more than our minds allow us to think. However, if we are deprived of that support, we can feel isolated and worthless, and in the worst cases, we could follow in Lewis’s footsteps. So, be there for those you love. Whether it’s your sibling suffering from depression or a cousin struggling with OCD, be by their side through it all. Appreciate your family, whether it’s the one given to you by blood or whether it’s one you choose. You don’t know how long you’ll have them with you for, so make the most of every minute. Make sure they feel as loved as they make you feel. Sometimes, just knowing someone has your back can make all the difference in the world.
Iāve moved a lot in my short lifespan. As of time of writing, Iām 22 years old. Between moving with my family, university and venturing out on my own, Iāve lived in over fifteen different houses. Sticking my belongings in various moving boxes and suitcases has become almost second nature to me. I have a lot of memories of clambering in and out of moving trucks, of being squished in the car by suitcases and bags, of eating pizza in empty rooms, of sleeping on inflatable mattresses when my bed was still in transport. Needless to say, I donāt have a major connection to specific places. Itās an entirely different process, my friends have told me, for those who have lived in one or two places for their entire lives.
Unpacking has you following through the life of one individual, as they move through various stages of their life and the new living conditions that come with it. You get glimpses at their journey, from the cabin bed in their childhood room, to the formation and downfall of a relationship, to discovering their identity and starting a family. All the stages culminate in a photo to go into the album, so they can look back at how far theyāve come. Thereās so much detail and love in this game that if youāve already played it, itās definitely worth a replay.
Too many boxes, too little time.
If you follow my Twitter, youād know that I recently moved into my new flat. Itās my first time living entirely alone (excluding the sheer chaos of the midnight beasts that my two cats embody) in my life and Unpacking brilliantly āunpacksā (Hehe, Iām hilarious) the feelings of anxiety, excitement, and fear that Iām sure we have all/will all experience in our lifetimes. Itās a soothing game, one that many streamers have played as a kind of āchillā stream to engage with their community. The atmosphere, the music, the goofy stickers awarded for doing odd little things like hiding the cookies on the top shelf or rearranging the fridge magnets, the detail on every object in the rooms ā it all culminates in a calming experience that the real world seems to lack nowadays.
One of the reasons why Unpacking works so well is, in my opinion, the possessions that the protagonist takes from place to place. We as humans make emotional attachments to more than just other people. Associating locations and objects with specific memories are common practice and that sense of nostalgia only encourages us to hold onto the object in question, to keep that piece of your own personal history with you as you walk into the future. Iāve spent so much time looking forward, having to work and plan for the years to come that I donāt get a lot of time to look back at the steps Iāve taken. However, when I look at some of the trinkets I own, the memories come rushing back, clearer than ever.
The chicken army advances
Let me give you an example from my own experience. A few years ago, I lost my maternal grandfather. We called him Papa (a Scottish term). He passed a few years after my maternal grandmother, and I freely admit that I miss them dearly. Whenever we travelled to see our family in Edinburgh, weād go to Granny and Papaās little flat on the council estate and have a quiet lunch there. Weād spend the afternoon solving the same few puzzles they had for the thousandth time and head for walks along the canal. After they had both passed, we had the hard task of going through their flat and sorting out their belongings ā choosing what we wished to keep and what would be donated to charity. I took a few things, one of which being a photo album ā so I donāt forget what they looked like when they smiled at me.
I had a bed just like this
There were a few other bits, like a bird ornament and one of the puzzles that Iād spent all those years re-doing. However, the item that I treasure the most is a little magic trick that he taught me how to master. Sure, the little metal disks that you can see in the image below donāt look like much and theyāre slowly wearing away with time but when I look at it, I see a seven-year-old Caitlin sat on the carpet on a December evening, watching with fascination as my Papa seemingly makes one of the rings disappear entirely. I see him in the birds in the trees, in the neatly trimmed lawns of well-kept gardens. With these things, he is still with us. People live on through those who remember them. Nobody is truly gone, there is always someone who will pause to remember them, or something that will spark those dusty memories. Playing Unpacking, you look at each of the items and wonder what the story is behind them. Why did the protagonist keep that mug? Why do they keep adding chicks to their army of stuffed chickens?
Our possessions tell a story. Even for something as seemingly innocent as an ornament or a mug, can have dozens of stories attached to them. It is something I think Unpacking hints at, as you start to recognise objects from previous sections of the game, and you ponder at the additions of new ones.
I have a major soft spot for Unpacking, and it is clear a lot of others do. So, give it a go. It is a short experience, but it will bring you a sense of calm that you would be surprised how many of us are missing.
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