Tag: press

Happy Birthday To MindGames!

Posted on by in Real Life

We’re one year old! How time flies.

So, it’s been a year since I published my first article on the site. We’ve come so far since then. I got to talk to some amazing developers as a press member at EGX, I met some of you guys, we have over 1,800 views and nearly 1000 unique visitors. 50 articles, dozens of comments and a small dent made into the stigma surrounding mental health in the gaming community.

Thank you all for your support. It means the world to me that I get to do this every week. So to say thank you, I reached out for some questions from you guys and well… here are the answers! Stay safe everyone.

…HONK

What is your favourite psychological trope/story in video games? And your least favourite? (@AgtFLAMINGO314)

Surprisingly for a computing student, I’m not a fan of how video games tackle Artificial Intelligence. Gaming as an industry has just beaten the life out of the question “can machines feel?”, to the point where it makes me wince to see it. We get it, you want to stay up to date with technology. But they just don’t understand how it works – it just goes into a revolution story that feels half hearted and forced.

I also hate when games depict those with mental illnesses as “unstable” or “dangerous”. It’s calmed down a lot more recently but there are still the occasional characters in games that make me want to pull my hair out because WE ARE NOT LIKE THAT. Our mental illnesses do not make us any less human and if one more developer turns someone with PTS into a serial killer, I’m going to become one myself. (Yes, I see the irony.)

Favourite trope? When it comes to psychology, I have always been fascinated with the thinking behind mythology. How those stories come to form beliefs and understanding, to create entire communities dedicated to its worship and understanding. Any game that tackles those beliefs, that challenges them and makes them all the stronger from it, is good with me. As it shows how we as a species can grow and adapt, whilst holding on to what makes us unique.

Either that or social psychology. Compliance and conformity especially, hence why one of the games series I have a soft spot for is the Orwell games. Dystopian future or not, the power of social influence cannot be denied.

We may not know whether it all exists, but it’s damn interesting.

Other than games, what do you find most helpful when relaxing? I.e. books, films or music etc, and any favourites? (@Ode_Ollie)

Often, what I do whilst relaxing will vary dependent on what kind of mood I’m in. Mostly, I tend to do various tasks that involve using my hands. Be that building LEGO, drawing, writing something or even cleaning, I like to physically do something and be able to see the results.

The rest of the time, music is a big relaxation tool for me. If I’m at home, then I grab my guitar and try strumming along to whatever I’m listening to. Otherwise, I have set playlists built up. Be it drowning out the negative thoughts, reliving warm memories associated with specific tunes or just allowing myself to think over the actions of the day, my noise cancelling headphones have become a major support mechanism to me.

Plus, reading is my jam. I’m a big book worm. Regardless of mood, a good book is something I can always lose myself in.

Choose Your Own Adventure Books are still great.

Do you know how many of us, as well as your work, have helped? (@Ode_Ollie)

I will never really be able to comprehend how my work has impacted people, because I barely understand how it has changed my life as it is. However, whether my articles have reached one person or dozens of people, I don’t regret starting the site. Any difference I can make, is worth the effort.

I still adore the logo that @spaceladyart made for us.

1 YEAR W H A T??? (@RupertLitterbin)

I know right? I got an email from WordPress the other day congratulating me on the anniversary of creating my site and nearly dropped my phone on the floor. So much has happened in the 365 days since I published that first piece. I left EGX Rezzed last year, determined to start my own site and to open those channels of communication with my fellow gamers. To see how far I have come, with the amazing support of those around me, is insane. I’m probably in the Matrix. That’d explain it.

Surprised Tom Nook isn’t the bad guy in the Matrix sequels tbh.

How do you deal with crowds of people at events like EGX and other conventions, especially with travelling to and from said events? (@MaxVelocity7)

Anxiety is a major issue when it comes to being able to attend gaming conventions such as EGX and Rezzed. Crowds are always going to be there. On the journey there, during the day itself, on your way home at night, even when you’re hunting for something to eat or queueing for the bathroom! Personally, I’ve never liked crowds anyways, so London isn’t on my list of favourite places to be, especially during the busier times. Heck, I don’t like going out in Cardiff during game day because I know just how insanely hectic it’ll be.

However, I can’t avoid crowds forever no matter how hard I try, so I’ve got my coping mechanisms for dealing with them. Let me lay out some of my techniques for you:

  • Plan The Journey – Know exactly what train you are getting, what time it leaves, what route it takes, what stops you get off at and so on. If you’re getting the Tube, make a note of the line you are taking and what direction it’s going so you can get to your platform without getting lost in the crowd. Put it in a note on your phone, for the way there and the way back, so you have one less thing to worry about.
  • Have Distractions – I have my noise cancelling headphones. As noise is a big anxiety stimulant for me, they act as a barrier between myself and the stressors, as well as being a big indicator to people to LEAVE ME ALONE. Some of my friends have stress balls or putty that they fiddle with. Others have wristbands. Find what makes you feel safe and bring it with you.
  • Quiet Spaces – Thankfully, conventions are getting the message that quiet spaces are needed so those who get overwhelmed can decompress somewhere safe. They are not always marked on the little map they give you, but they tend to be in small tents/past a curtain or doorway, with beanbags and spaces to sit in the quiet. Don’t feel bad if you need to use it. You deserve to enjoy the convention to and if you need time out, take it.
  • Friends – If possible, meet up or go with a friend. One that is aware of your anxiety and can act as your bodyguard from crowds when everything gets too busy. Make sure you define a signal or a phrase that’ll alert your friend if you aren’t okay and don’t feel bad if you can’t cope with everything all the time. They’d much rather have fun with you, than be playing alone. Trust me.
  • Breaks – Giving yourself time out is so important. Conventions are insanely busy, hectic, over-stimulating and anxiety inducing. It’s easier to handle if you take regular, short breaks. Be that getting lunch, a coffee or just sitting down for a bit. Decompress and relax. You deserve it.
The board game sections are always great to sit and relax in.

Favourite piece you’ve written so far? (@Fr0do_Baggins)

Hmm. Favourite piece so far. Considering I’ve written fifty articles now, which is an insane number to say the least, to choose my favourite is easy. It’s got to be the piece I wrote on GRIS, which was my favourite game of 2019 in the end. A short, beautiful experience whose soundtrack can bring me to tears if I’m in a mindset. You lose yourself completely in the experience and experience the protagonist’s journey as your own. There’s a reason why it is also the longest article I’ve written for the site thus far. However, as amazing as the game is, that’s not the reason why it is my favourite article.

GRIS was a journey. A journey of grief, loss and depression. It is one that I am very familiar with and one I think a lot of us will be forced to take during this current crisis. It was especially key to me working through my own grief, as I played the game and wrote the article about a month after the death of my grandfather. I still feel that ache of loss when I see finches on the bird feeders or butterflies fluttering around the buddleia, but it is no longer that painful stab that it was before. GRIS helped me understand the difference between torturing myself with my memories and keeping them as reminders of who Papa was to me.

Loss isn’t the end. I know that now.

What would be your desert island games? If you had to choose 8 and only those eight to play again, what would they be and why? (@Ode_Ollie)

Haven’t thought about the desert island scenario in a long time, so this is a good question! Here’s my list for you, off the top of my head:

  1. Animal Crossing – They’ve always been my go-to relaxation games, which means that I associate it with a sense of calm and peacefulness that I don’t always get in my daily life.
  2. Professor Layton (Miracle Mask) – As much as I’d love all the games in the series to come with me, that’d take up the entire list so instead, I’ve gone for my favourite of the main storyline, with cutscenes and a storyline that still make me well up on the 50th playthrough.
  3. The Walking Dead (Telltale) – CLEMENTINE IS MY PRECIOUS BADASS CHILD, NEED I SAY MORE?
  4. Assassins Creed Syndicate – The Frye twins are all I aspire to be in life, if I was more flexible and in greater physical condition. Also, I have the same reaction as Evie to a dress.
  5. Spiderman PS4 – I just love being able to swing around the city and the combat is so satisfying to chain together with the aerial movement. It’s like a beautiful ballet of violence.
  6. Octopath Traveller – Honestly, I just love the game. Being able to jump between all the character’s stories and to punch ginormous pixel art bosses in the face with my PET SNOW LEOPARD, is satisfying as all hell.
  7. Stories Untold – Essentially my favourite storytelling experience of all time, especially for the text adventure fan within me.
  8. Spyro The Dragon – 99% of my childhood memories are tied to this game. I still play the original with my mum from time to time. We’ve 100%’d the first five games (before it went all fighter combos) at least 30 times.
J’ACCUSE

The best thing about creating MindGames? The hardest thing about it? (@Ode_Ollie)

Best thing? Oh, that’s an easy one. It’s the community behind it. I never expected the outpouring of support that I have received from everyone. The fascinating insights and points that you all take from my writing, often astound me, as they aren’t things that I thought of at the time. Honestly, your comments and responses often make my writing seem a lot better than it is 😛

Hardest thing? I think it is talking about my mental health. Ironically, encouraging conversations about mental health and supporting one another, is why I made the site in the first place, but when it comes to my own mindset, I often feel ashamed or insecure. That’s exactly the feeling I’m trying to tackle, so it’s always a bit of an internal struggle when I’m writing about topics closer to my heart.

It’s the “we” that’s important. We aren’t alone.

How can you do so much and continuously create the most wonderful content and be this amazing a person and not let the quality slide? (@Ode_Ollie)

First off, you’re an absolute angel. You have supported me tirelessly since the birth of Mind Games and I can never thank you enough for that. Also, my LEGO Statue of Liberty looks great, thank you again for that. Hopefully the world looks favourably on us at some point in the future and we can hang out!

I’ve always understood my greatest enemy is my own mind. Being busy is my main method of coping, of being able to manage that anxiety and those negative thoughts that linger at the back of my mind. Especially at this key point in my life, with my graduation and starting a job and finding a place to live, plus all the usual young adult drama that comes with it, having something to distract you is so important.

Part of that distraction is routine, and I’ve managed to cement Mind Games into that routine. It gives me a chance, once a week to speak candidly about how I am feeling, how the game of choice touched me on a personal level and to connect with you all as best I can. Personally, I’m rarely “happy” with my articles, as I set myself very high standards. However, if I feel an article isn’t of the quality, I expect from myself, then I don’t release it.

Trust me, there are so many drafts and redrafts in my documents folder, including pieces on games that I never actually released. I refuse to let quality slide because the point behind Mind Games was to create a space for us to talk about these issues and to find that representation that we don’t always see. I won’t sacrifice that community for the sake of viewership from quick and easy articles.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Thank you all for the questions and for reading this far down! We’ve come a long way. Thank you. So much.

CaitlinRC.

EGX 2019 – Too many games, too little time

Posted on by in Gaming, Real Life

If anyone had told me six months ago, when I published my first article on the site, that I’d be attending EGX in London with a press pass – I’d probably have fallen over in a weird combination of anxiety and disbelief. Throughout our lives, we have always had it hammered into our heads that we are representatives of our schools, of our clubs, of our generation. If we misbehave or act out, it is deemed a black mark against that group, rather than just against the offender. So, stepping into a 4-day gaming convention, with my silver wristband and my notebook, was a tad terrifying. At that moment, I wasn’t just Caitlin who loves to play video games – I was Caitlin, owner of Mind Games. My site, my articles, my online presence and those who support me, all would be judged as a result of my actions. No pressure.

For those roughly curious about how the whole process of a “press pass” works, I’ll give a quick rundown. You fill out a simple form, explaining what site/organisation you represent, what your focus is and why you’d like to talk to the developers at EGX, as well as any potentially statistics or figures that you feel might benefit your application. I was lucky enough to receive a press pass, which is essentially a “super-pass” – giving access to all four days of the convention and the chance to organise meetings with various developers to talk about their games! The pass itself is given as a free ticket, which as a student I was incredibly grateful for!

Dramatic silver press pass is dramatic

Up until last week, the biggest convention I had been to on my own, was Rezzed, the sister convention of EGX, held in the Tobacco Dock. This smaller location worked well for me, reducing my feelings of anxiety caused by large groups of strangers. If needed, the exit was relatively easy to find, and some areas were a lot quieter than others. I have nothing but fond memories of Rezzed and if my studies allow it, I’ll be there in March. EGX, however, is held in the ExCel Centre. It’s so much bigger, with over 80,000 attendees at the convention each year, more than 250 games available to try out and countless exhibitors eager to show off their work.

For someone with mental health issues, a convention can be our worst nightmare. No matter how much preparation you do, it can’t truly prepare you for the chaotic environment of a convention hall, filled with thousands of excited game fans all chatting about different things. As someone who gets easily overwhelmed, it’s the main part of the experience that I dread. Especially on the busier days, you can go from enjoying yourself immensely, to trying desperately to find somewhere quiet enough that you can calm yourself down in peace. It’s kind of eerie really, feeling so isolated and overwhelmed, whilst being surrounded by thousands of likeminded people.

PRESS TO HONK!

Thankfully, conventions have cottoned on to this and have begun to provide quiet zones, safe spaces and accessibility options so that everyone can enjoy themselves, not just the most outgoing individuals. This is key, especially in industries like gaming, where a lot of individuals use the media as a form of escapism. Playing games is a coping mechanism for many, so tainting that experience for someone with a bad day at a convention, is something that all convention runners should avoid like the plague. A good example of this is the charity CheckPoint, who provide mental health resources for gamers and quiet zones at conventions, where you can go to decompress, calm yourself down and chat to someone if you wish to.

I don’t think there is anything that can truly prepare you for a convention. It’s a completely unique atmosphere, that you don’t find anywhere else. Heck, the atmosphere changes from year to year! Part of that, I believe, is due to the ever-changing nature of the gaming industry. As much as there are the few specific gaming companies that seem to have existed to the dawn of time and will outlast us all, these events are about trying new things. Be that a new piece of hardware, a new instalment in a long-running series or dipping your toe into a genre that you’ve never tried before, there is something for everyone. For example, I spent most of my time flitting between the indie games section and the board games area, as those were the two main bits that I cared about – both as a gamer and for any press meetings I had. Meanwhile a couple of my friends, made a beeline for the Doom Eternal area, as they were very keen to punch some demons in the face.

Convention too busy? Play some board games 😀

The highlight of the convention for me, was getting to chat to the developers of the games that were available to play. I think something that a lot of us forget, is that there are so many talented and unique individuals behind the games we take such joy in. Each of these creators has walked their own path in life to get to that moment, faced their demons and tackled events that none of us will really understand. They pour all those experiences into their creations, so being able to talk to them in depth about their work and their lives, gives you just an inkling of their potential as creators in the gaming industry.

Although I’ll go into more detail about the conversations I had whilst at EGX in other articles, I wanted to say something that floored me. Every person I spoke to, whether they had their own mental health issues or not, completely agreed that video games and mental health had a strong link. From escapism, to tackling delicate issues with care, each member of a development team has a duty to ensure that their game will make a positive impact on their audience members. From accessibility options for the colour blind, to telling a story about loss through symbolism, each decision made in the process of designing a game is key. It’s about building a community with your players.

This was too comfy a spot not to take a photo in – at the PHOGS stand 🙂

This idea of community also extends to the convention, since these events can be a massive boost to those looking for likeminded people to talk about their love of gaming with. I speak from experience, that conventions are a massive opportunity to meet those online friends that you’ve been chatting with for months and just mess around together as if you’ve known one another for years. From someone killing your character in space by stealing their oxygen, to working together to combat a horde of monsters, these events foster a sense of companionship and loyalty to one another, even if you’ve only been talking to someone for a few minutes.

If you can afford to go to these kinds of events, do it. Don’t let fear or anxiety stop you because the friends you make, the experiences you will have and the joyful memories will stay with you forever, whilst those negative thoughts will be gone before you know it. Some of my best memories of the last decade are from conventions and the amazing friends that I have made through the gaming community. We all deserve happiness and who knows, maybe through a convention like EGX, you’ll find yours.

Till next time,

CaitlinRC.