When people think of the festive scene, the image that tends to come to mind is more of a wholesome, peaceful and family-oriented time, with the exchange of gifts and well-wishes being at the forefront. However, retail employee’s probably compare the shopping rush of Christmas with the stampede scene in the Lion King. Hopefully if you’re reading this when I publish it on Christmas Eve 2019, you aren’t still out hunting for presents for relatives that you forgot existed until the very last minute. If you are, then I send my deepest sympathies.
As someone who stresses excessively over upcoming deadlines, I tend to do my shopping early on. The concept of running around an extremely crowded shopping centre, struggling to find what I am looking for, is my definition of a nightmare. Social situations are hard enough but the anxiety of Black Friday and the big Christmas rush, is probably what my version of hell will look like when I finally end up there. All that carnage looks very much like the gameplay of the Christmas Shopper Simulator games released as a joke by the British gaming retailer – Game (Imaginative, I know).
Personally, I’m not sure what was going through the developer’s minds when they were making these games, but I’m very glad they followed through. In a similar vein to the Goat Simulator games, it is an insane, buggy sandbox experience that frequently defies the laws of physics. Honestly, if it had been released for April Fools, nobody would’ve blinked an eye. Ridiculous, hilarious and just plain odd, it’s an experience to say the least. It’s just the right dose of insanity that we as gamers look for, despite it being a free marketing ploy from a retailer.
After all, who wouldn’t want a character selection screen where one of the stats you have is “Years Left to Live”. Plus, every good video game needs a bouncy castle in the starting area, that acts like a shuttle rocket into space than a children’s birthday party activity. You can buy items, try to steal them, get tackled by security or angry grandmothers and punch Santa in his bowl full of jelly, much to the horror of the local children. From kicking, to taking selfies, to attaching balloons to unsuspecting civilians and changing the elevator’s speed, it’s essentially a poltergeist’s definition of a great time.
There is a set of missions and objectives to follow in order to “complete” the game but personally I just ignore them. This kind of game is very much what you make of it and if you aren’t willing to try and fling yourself across the ice rink like your one true love is on the other side, then this probably isn’t the game for you. Experimentation is the order of the day. You unlock new abilities and activities if you complete the main plot, but that’s the only real incentive it gives you. The games are something you play for a laugh for an hour or so, then never again. But that’s ok, that’s the point!
The game is filled with niche references to British culture and the insanity of the Christmas shopping rush, especially the chaos that people call “Black Friday”. So, if you aren’t British, you might miss out on some of the laughs generated by goofy shop names. Yet, I think the slapstick nature of the game is worth a try, even if it’s just for a quick laugh before you switch it off and boot up whatever goodies you found under the Christmas Tree.
Before I sign off though, I’d like to wish you all a wonderful holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice or nothing at all, I hope you all have a wonderful time. Your support, feedback and suggestions have made this site what it is. I started the site as an idea, a concept that I felt hadn’t been covered in gaming journalism thus far. I didn’t expect it to do as well as it has.
Mental health is such an important issue. It touches every part of our lives, from the friendships we form, to the clothes we choose to wear. MindGames has touched lives, including mine and that alone is worth all the effort I put into it. So, thank you. For more than I can ever put into words.
See you next year,
CaitlinRC.