Tag: funny

Christmas Shopper Simulator – The True Memeing of Christmas:

When people think of the festive scene, the image that tends to come to mind is more of a wholesome, peaceful and family-oriented time, with the exchange of gifts and well-wishes being at the forefront. However, retail employee’s probably compare the shopping rush of Christmas with the stampede scene in the Lion King. Hopefully if you’re reading this when I publish it on Christmas Eve 2019, you aren’t still out hunting for presents for relatives that you forgot existed until the very last minute. If you are, then I send my deepest sympathies.

As someone who stresses excessively over upcoming deadlines, I tend to do my shopping early on. The concept of running around an extremely crowded shopping centre, struggling to find what I am looking for, is my definition of a nightmare. Social situations are hard enough but the anxiety of Black Friday and the big Christmas rush, is probably what my version of hell will look like when I finally end up there. All that carnage looks very much like the gameplay of the Christmas Shopper Simulator games released as a joke by the British gaming retailer – Game (Imaginative, I know).

Nothing strange going on here.

Personally, I’m not sure what was going through the developer’s minds when they were making these games, but I’m very glad they followed through. In a similar vein to the Goat Simulator games, it is an insane, buggy sandbox experience that frequently defies the laws of physics. Honestly, if it had been released for April Fools, nobody would’ve blinked an eye. Ridiculous, hilarious and just plain odd, it’s an experience to say the least. It’s just the right dose of insanity that we as gamers look for, despite it being a free marketing ploy from a retailer.

After all, who wouldn’t want a character selection screen where one of the stats you have is “Years Left to Live”. Plus, every good video game needs a bouncy castle in the starting area, that acts like a shuttle rocket into space than a children’s birthday party activity. You can buy items, try to steal them, get tackled by security or angry grandmothers and punch Santa in his bowl full of jelly, much to the horror of the local children. From kicking, to taking selfies, to attaching balloons to unsuspecting civilians and changing the elevator’s speed, it’s essentially a poltergeist’s definition of a great time.

Star Wars eat your heart out.

There is a set of missions and objectives to follow in order to “complete” the game but personally I just ignore them. This kind of game is very much what you make of it and if you aren’t willing to try and fling yourself across the ice rink like your one true love is on the other side, then this probably isn’t the game for you. Experimentation is the order of the day. You unlock new abilities and activities if you complete the main plot, but that’s the only real incentive it gives you. The games are something you play for a laugh for an hour or so, then never again. But that’s ok, that’s the point!

The game is filled with niche references to British culture and the insanity of the Christmas shopping rush, especially the chaos that people call “Black Friday”. So, if you aren’t British, you might miss out on some of the laughs generated by goofy shop names. Yet, I think the slapstick nature of the game is worth a try, even if it’s just for a quick laugh before you switch it off and boot up whatever goodies you found under the Christmas Tree.

When in doubt, throw foam at people.

Before I sign off though, I’d like to wish you all a wonderful holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, the Solstice or nothing at all, I hope you all have a wonderful time. Your support, feedback and suggestions have made this site what it is. I started the site as an idea, a concept that I felt hadn’t been covered in gaming journalism thus far. I didn’t expect it to do as well as it has.

Mental health is such an important issue. It touches every part of our lives, from the friendships we form, to the clothes we choose to wear. MindGames has touched lives, including mine and that alone is worth all the effort I put into it. So, thank you. For more than I can ever put into words.

See you next year,

CaitlinRC.

Untitled Goose Game – My Cousin Is Afraid of Geese and Now I Know Why:

I’ve never been a fan of geese. Then again, I don’t think anyone on the planet is particularly fond of them. They are known as the douchebags of the avian world, with their terrifying spiky tongues and tendency to harass anyone that even glances at them. Thankfully, I’ve only really been chased by geese rather than outright attacked but both my cousin and my sister have felt the sharp nip of their beaks. When we were all younger, we used to go feed the ducks and play by the riverside. Every so often we’d see a swan glide past or a group of geese honking at one another. Whilst feeding a duck some seeds, a goose snuck up on my cousin and started honking aggressively, flapping its wings and hissing like the big jerk it was. Being a six-year-old at the time, my cousin burst into tears and froze on the spot, triggering the goose to bite her and cause her to drop her little bag of seeds. My aunt chased it off, but my cousin still hates geese to this day and she’s twenty-two!

Although utter jerks, geese are a part of nature and I get a great sense of peace from watching the birds on the canals near where I live. It’s a calming moment amongst some of the darker times that the real world likes to burden us with. Video games seem to follow this trend recently, with a lot of recent releases being rather gritty, hard-hitting games that reveal some of the darker features of human nature. Games strive to show us a part of ourselves that we refuse to admit is there, highlighting important issues and teaching us lessons that can’t always be taught in school. However, considering how dark the real world can get sometimes, turning to a video game that is just as dark, can seem a tad depressing. Which is why silly games like Mount Your Friends or Quiplash are so important in bringing joy back to our lives. One game that takes this concept and runs headlong into the village with it, is the Untitled Goose Game.

Time to listen to BBC Radio HONK!

If you’ve been hiding in a cave without an internet connection, then I’ll quickly explain the premise of the game in the words of the developers – “It’s a lovely morning in the village, and you are a horrible goose.” As the goose, who I have lovingly named Flerken (thumbs up if you get that reference), your job is to roam around the village causing all sorts of chaos. From stealing the gardener’s rake and throwing it into the lake, locking the shopkeeper in the garage, stealing a man’s shoes off his feet and making another trip over, there’s no end to the potential hilarity of this game.

At its core, it’s a puzzle game. To progress, you must complete a series of tasks on your to-do list in order to unlock the next area. Some tasks require a bit more planning than others but no matter what task you complete, you get a great deal of satisfaction when that item gets crossed off your list. I think House House, the developers behind the game, have managed to create a game that brings childlike delight to all who play it, as well as providing a series of complex tasks that feed into the concept of reward motivation. Whether that reward is progressing the game, getting to see the hilarious consequences of your actions or simply the pleasure of crossing an item off your list, House House encourages it’s players to keep trying – after all, when we know there’s a reward at the end, we are more determined to get there.

Don’t hire the goose as a waiter, he has a fowl mouth.

There are two things that I feel we as humans should do on a regular basis. The first is to cry – just sob and let all your emotions pour out of you. We can’t hold it all in forever, eventually, we will explode, and I’d rather explode in the private of my own home rather than lashing out at those I love by accident. The other is to laugh. Not to snigger or laugh politely at a bad joke, but a proper laugh. One that shakes your shoulders and leaves you gasping for air, where your stomach aches and your cheeks hurt from smiling. When you laugh like that, it leaves a grin on your face for the rest of the day and makes everything seem that bit lighter. Running around as a goose, annoying people and honking like a maniac manage to bring me those moments of laughter.

It’s a game that appeals to the troublemaker in each of us. Growing up, we are told not to cause trouble as it upsets and frustrates those around us but a little part of us finds it funny. House House taps into this vein of mischief with a charming little game that apparently started as a joke that snowballed into a gaming phenomenon that even the most cynical of people can crack a smile at. Even in games where you are given the choice to act like a jerk, we often choose to be kind because most of us inherently want to be good people. So, a game that is based around being a gigantic jerk to the various humans and causing as much chaos as possible to this sleepy little village, is a delightful time for the devils that sit on our shoulders.

FEAR ME TIMMY! I AM THE GOOSE!

There’s an incredible amount of detail that has gone into this game, with each “level” providing you with more opportunities to wreak havoc than you could ever imagine. The villagers wandering around the level all respond to the goose differently, some actively encouraging you and others chasing you away with a broom, so you have to adapt your approach to solving each objective dependent on whether you’re going to be chased after by a big burly man. Little thought bubbles pop up above the villager’s heads in response to various events, such as what they are going to do next or what item has magically disappeared from the garden and ended up in the lake (it wasn’t me I swear), which provide good clues to the player for those slightly trickier objectives.

From replayability to speedrunning, the game has a great deal of potential for sticking around as a darling indie games that are beloved by all. Undertale, Super Meat Boy, Cuphead and The Stanley Parable are all examples of this, and I hope more than anything that this delightful chaos causing goose becomes a staple in the gaming community for decades to come. Its art style won’t have to worry about graphical updates making it look bad in comparison, and what’s not to love about being a goose? HONK! I can agree, that this game was definitely worth the wait and although I’ve already finished all the objectives and claimed my little goose crown, I will be replaying it time and time again, for that sense of pure joy that it provides even when my mental health decides that it’s time to suffer. HONK HONK!

Well, well, well, what do we have here.

Anyways, depending on how much free time I get this week, I’m going to try and finish off Prey and write about it! The mimics will probably be the focus of the article as the concept of things not being what they appear is a big problem that those with mental health issues have to combat in everyday life. Until then, like, leave a comment and follow the site, plus my Twitter to keep up to date with everything @OurMindGames!

Till next time,

CaitlinRC.