As an introvert who lives alone, is not in a committed relationship, works a programming job and whose hobbies are mostly online or solitary, I do not get out much. Sure, I will go for a walk on days that I need to clear my head. When I need something from town, I will grab my keys and head out the door with relative ease. This solitary nature has led to a running joke in my family about my tendency to melt if I step into the sunlight, or how the fresh air is actually poison to my lungs. However, there are always events that I push through the social anxiety to go to – EGX being one of them.
We have talked about the gaming convention EGX and its smaller counterpart EGX Rezzed on the site before. It was after Rezzed 2019 that Mind Games came into existence. Through the gaming community and the various fandoms that I have been a part of all these years, conventions like EGX have given me an opportunity to meet people who’ve I have only heard through voice chat and to experience the joys of gaming with those I care about, rather than by myself in a university dorm late at night. Despite a global pandemic and lockdown, last year I still got to take part in EGX – through EGX Digital and the brilliant panelists who joined me to talk about mental health representation in gaming.
Considering the pandemic is not yet over (because diseases do not go away overnight, what a surprise), I was unsure of whether this year’s in-person convention would even happen. Originally, I decided not to go, not wanting to spend money on hotels and travel when I am in the middle of sorting a new place to live. However, I struggled massively with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), especially as I realised just how many of my friends were going to make an appearance. As the closing date for press applications grew nearer, I decided to take a chance. I applied, allowing the acceptance or denial of my application to make the choice for me. Then I got one.
I was immensely surprised. I am well aware of the chaotic period of infrequent content that Mind Games has gone through over the last eighteen months. Between a pandemic, a dissertation, a new job, housing issues, mental health declines and the chaos of adopting two cats – I have not been able to focus on the site as much as I have wanted to. Apart from my Dungeons and Dragons campaign, there have not been frequent posts on the site. Yet, I still received a press pass.
So, on the 7th of October 2021, I stood outside the Excel center once more, ready to face four days of games, socialization, crowds, and joyful chaos. I never regret going to these conventions, they are some of my fondest memories and forge bonds that will linger long after the words on this post have filtered through your mind. The last EGX I went to, I was accompanied by my good friend Rob (RupertLitterBin/RupertRamblings) who brought my coffee/breakfast with him. Thank God for that, I would have died otherwise. In 2021, I decided to take advantage of my paying job and get a hotel so I would not have to commute three hours each way just to attend the convention.
During the previous EGX, I had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with my now good friend Matt – @TheMattAttackUK, who runs multiple podcasts over on Visionaries Global Media (a podcasting network). A few months later, he approached me to ask about whether I would take part in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign he was running. I agreed and well, now I am part of the Dungeons and Junkiez crew, who play every Tuesday night. It is definitely one of the best things in my life at the moment. Through Matt, I met Kerry, Alex, and Chad – who have all become good friends. Honestly, I have missed having a group that I see regularly and spend time with. Years at a boarding school and three years of university featuring lots of theatre productions, means that I have grown accustomed to having those periods of socialization, I did not realise that I needed it until it was absent from my life.
Although Chad could not be there (something about an ocean being between the USA and the UK), to see the rest of the group in person and to spend time with them in three dimensions, was invigorating. Big social events are extremely draining to my mental health, but to be honest, I needed this. COVID-19 has drastically changed the last 18 months of our lives and for some people, such as me, this pandemic has clashed with milestones in our lives – tainting those memories. I have not had a formal graduation ceremony or gone out for drinks/coffee with my new work colleagues. So, to see people outside of my immediate family, my housemate and a few select friends, has brought a great deal of relief.
As terrified as I am, and always will be, of these big events, there is a sense of normality to them that I dearly miss. Having a few days to wander around a convention center, sharing inside jokes, trying new games, and making new memories, it brings a human connection that I think we all have been deprived of for a while now.
Now, given that we are still in the midst of a pandemic, there were concerns that EGX would struggle to provide a safe event. Others, especially those online, complained that the convention was not good enough as it lacked representation from the AAA game companies – giving more of a focus to the tabletop and indie communities. Personally, I prefer the smaller, indie developer focused event that is Rezzed, but I can understand where people are coming from. However, walking around in my facemask, watching developers wipe down controllers and surfaces between play testers, handing over my proof of vaccination to the venue security team, I could tell that they were doing all they could. Part of my fear of attending EGX was whether I would inadvertently pass my germs onto someone who is less able at fighting them off.
Part of the writer’s block that I have been experiencing since lockdown began, has been due to lack of enthusiasm for games. Since I have not been going round to friend’s houses after lectures to play Uncharted or forwarding upcoming release trailers to those that I know would love it, a lot of my passion for writing articles has fizzled away. Not because I do not enjoy the games or that I do not want to write about them. It is more that I have lost that sense of community, that joint excitement for new experiences. I can say with confidence that EGX has brought that back. Walking around the retro zone, being terrible at rhythm games, conquering most of Russia in a board game, chatting to developers about their inspirations, it has brought it all back to me. I play games on my own but the communities and excitement surrounding them are what makes it all worth it for me.
So, what can you conclude from this rambling mess of an article that has no real structure to it? Well, I have my love of writing back again. Even if it is only here for a few weeks, I am going to try and take advantage of it and start producing content for you all again. To wet your beaks a bit, here is a list of things that are coming your way:
- A Juggler’s Tale – A game about puppets. Yes. Puppets.
- More D&D – Woo the D&D train never ends, even more for my players to suffer
- A big rebrand of the site, including the launch of my tabletop games as an actual entity – Blades In The Dark, D&D 5e and hopefully a lot, lot more!
- More articles about board games!
- More bits about mental health/conditions that impact people in the community
- Requests?
It’s good to be back. I would love to hear from you all again, so send me your suggestions, feedback and ideas! Heck, even just how you’ve been doing these past few months 🙂
Take care,
CaitlinRC
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