Month: August 2020

Spyro The Dragon – Small but Mighty:

Posted on by in Gaming

As I’ve mentioned before on the site, I was a PlayStation kid. When I was small, my parents were trying to find what it was that interested me, that brought me joy. They wanted something that they could bond with me over, which was hard to find considering how solitary some of my hobbies were. After seeing my excitement over a tiny basketball game themed around Shadow the Hedgehog that came with a kid’s meal at McDonalds, they decided to take a stab in the dark and see how I liked video games. So, we got a PS1 for the family. We picked up a few games such as Crash Bandicoot, Croc, James Pond and of course, Spyro.

For those of you who have done the maths and realised that the PS1 actually came out before I was even born, you’ll have realised that by the time I had got a PlayStation, the entire original trilogy of Spyro The Dragon had already been released for a good few years. I didn’t care. So many of my childhood memories are intrinsically connected with the adventures of the famous purple lizard, that I still revisit the series to this day. Heck, my mum, and I regularly 100% the games whenever I’m home for the holidays. It’s become a tradition, a chance to bond and catch up (and plot the murder of that goddamn bear).

Will Spyro ever get a holiday? No. He won’t.

Amusingly, I haven’t played the remastered editions of the original trilogy. My parents still have the original disks and a PS2 that is clinging on to life, so I’ve not seen the point of purchasing the remaster just yet. The same goes for the Crash Bandicoot games, not that I’ve ever finished the first one… Though now that I have moved out of home and am off living the adult life, maybe I’ll pick them up, as a little reminder of home. Having little things to remind you of home are important. Whether your home is with your biological family or the family you chose, being able to bring those people to mind when your thoughts get a bit too loud, is a comfort.

From the moment we are born, we build associations between our experiences and our reactions to said experiences. For example, when you touch a hot plate as a kid, you very quickly learn not to repeat that behaviour. That’s because your brain quickly makes the connection between that feeling of pain and the action that caused it – a technique called negative reinforcement. There’s been many a psychological study on the different types of reinforcement and their effectiveness but that’d take up more words in this article than there are grains of sand in a beach towel. Naturally, my mental health conditions have caused a lot of negative associations to be built in my mind, otherwise known as “triggers”. To combat that, I’ve tried to build positive ones. Spyro, has been one of these for as long as I can remember.

Some of these lizards still give me trouble now…

Whether it was a way to keep six year old me still whilst she checked my hair for nits, or a way to calm me down the night before my exam results, Spyro has become a lot more than just a game series to me. It has been the background to so many important conversations in my life – be that coming out as gender-neutral, discussing how I’m really feeling or coping with the loss of my grandfather, these games have become such an integral part of my life. As a military brat, I’ve lived in a lot of different homes. The main constants have always been my mum, my dad, my sister, and Spyro the Dragon. Whether it was sitting on moving boxes at age eleven right before starting secondary school or lounging on a beanbag the night before moving out of home, it’s something that I will carry with me forever.

Replayability of games is a big problem in the industry. After all, what’s the point of paying £40 or more for a game that you will only play once? Especially in more stressful financial times such as lockdown, deciding whether you can afford an expense such as a new game is a troubling one. Yet, the adventures of the pint-sized purple dragon retain the same level of excitement and comedic value regardless of how many times you’ve completed the games. It’s got to a point where we remember every single hidden nook and cranny, any secret areas, and shortcuts, as well as which areas we can assault Moneybags in. I hate that bear. So much.

I hope you fall in the piranha filled swamp.

There’s something about collectable based games that are very satisfying. The more popular AAA games tend to be harder to 100%, as there tend to be ten million odd bits to find. Take Assassins Creed 2 – with its endless supply of feathers to find, or the pigeons from GTA IV. Sure, you’d come across some of them across the course of the game but nowhere near enough to justify taking the time to hunt down the final few. Plus, the rewards are rarely worth it. Heck, catching all the Pokemon in the more recent games has become ridiculously difficult (due to trading requirements and version restrictions) yet all you get is a digital achievement. However, with the Spyro games, you get rewarded for picking up everything and anything you can find.

As much as I despise Moneybags and his constant appearances in the trilogy, as well as the later games, he does serve a valuable purpose. To unlock certain abilities, levels, and areas, you need to pay this money grubbing bear a specific fee. He acts as a barrier to ensure that you are collecting the treasure that is scattered all around the worlds in the Dragon Realms. As you progress through the game, his prices increase, actively encouraging you to be a completionist to reduce the time you’d have to spend backtracking. Plus, at the end of Year of the Dragon (the third game), you get to chase him around and torch his bottom until he surrenders all the gems, he stole from you.

My favourite of the original trilogy. Getting to try other characters, Sparx levels, new mechanics and approaches? Beautiful.

Although the original trilogy did have its problems (looking at you wonky flying mechanics and the Hunter minigames in the Spyro 2’s speedways), it always rewarded it’s players. Be it unlocking a permanent fireball upgrade, a treasure horde, or a series of fun minigames, your hard work pays off. Also, there’s something incredibly satisfying in opening the progress menu and seeing those golden 100% markers next to every level.

Regardless of my emotional ramblings, the Spyro trilogy is still good fun so give it a shot. As of this article being published, I’ll be off celebrating my 21st birthday with my family so I hope you all have a fabulous day and are staying safe!

Remember to like, comment, and follow the site both on WordPress and over on our twitter @OurMindGames. Till next week,

CaitlinRC.

Depression – That Little Voice:

Posted on by in Real Life

TW – Depression and Suicide.

A young girl shuts the door on her friend with a big smile plastered across her face. As soon as the lock clicks into place, the smile vanishes and overwhelming sadness swims in her eyes. She slumps down, barely able to keep herself upright as sobs begin to wrack her body and tears spill down her cheeks. The camera pans away, the piano instrumental swelling to an emotional crescendo. This is what the films showcase depression as, a dramatic display of emotion and sorrow. Needless to say, that’s a load of bollocks.

Yes, this devastating mental health condition can manifest itself in full emotional breakdowns. Yes, there are some moments where I just want to cry in my room until the sun sinks below the horizon. However, it is so much more than that. It isn’t something that is magically fixed by falling in love with some handsome boy who wipes away your tears. There isn’t a “cure”. It isn’t something you can prevent just by “cheering up” or stopping being sad.

Let me explain a bit more. Depression is more than just feeling sad. It is more than the emotional breakdowns where you can do nothing but cry. It’s days where you don’t see the purpose of getting out of bed or doing anything productive, because what possible worth could you contribute to the world? It is moments where you feel guilty for taking time to yourself, where you feel that you aren’t good enough, that your work is terrible, that you are worthless.

Depression is a mood disorder, caused by an inbalance of neurotransmitters in your brain. A low level of serotonin, is associated with a low mood, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, interest in usually enjoyable activities and much more. There are many different factors that can influence whether you develop a mental illness such as depression – there’s a major genetic component. For example, there’s a big history of mental illness in my family, which significantly raised the risk of how likely it was for my sister and I to develop one.

I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression around three years ago. Around a year and a half later, I was given the additional diagnosis of PTS (Post Traumatic Stress). Despite all this, I’ve been experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression for nearly seven years now. Looking back on my teenage years, those moments of anxiety and self-loathing weren’t just teen angst or exam stress. All these people would tell me to calm down, to relax, to stop beating myself up over every tiny mistake. I’d feel guilty for not being able to take their advice, for wallowing in self-pity and guilt.

Now, there are many different types of treatment for depression. These treatments are not a permanent fix for the mood disorder, they are merely ways to cope and manage the symptoms. I’ve tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to improve my self-esteem, counselling to try and process the traumatic events in my life, various self-help resources and ground techniques for when I get overstimulated and start to panic. However, therapy isn’t the answer for everyone. In my case, I need to take anti-depressants to keep my mood in check. I couldn’t focus on the therapy or the techniques that I was being taught because I just couldn’t see the point in it. I didn’t see a good reason for wasting my therapist’s time with my petty problems.

Throughout these years, I’ve had so many ups and downs that if you drew my journey on a map, it’d look like a mountain range that even the most ardent of explorers would dread to climb. Some of those downs have been a major dark pit that I didn’t think I’d get out of. I’ve struggled with my self-esteem, dealt with thoughts of whether I should end my own life. It’s terrifying. Genuinely terrifying. You feel like you’ve fallen so far down that nobody could ever find you to help pull you out. I was lucky enough to know an amazing guy at university, who would always make me laugh when I saw him at brunch. Despite me not being a “party” student, he still made an effort to include me and get to know me. Sadly, he lost his battle with depression and took his own life back in late 2018. I still miss him.

Mental health conditions are so much more than just “attitude” or “moodiness”, they are conditions that those who suffer from them will have to carry for the rest of their lives. It becomes a part of who you are, influences the decisions you make and the paths you choose to follow. I know for a fact that I’ve missed out on so many opportunities because I thought I wasn’t good enough or smart enough or worthy of that chance. Heck, even now I still don’t.

It’s ok to ask for help. One in four people will suffer from a mental health condition in their lifetime. You aren’t weird, you aren’t broken or wrong. You are deserving of love and support as much as the next person. Please remember that.

Look out for one another, be that hand in the darkness.

CaitlinRC.